Over the past two weeks, we explored my 6 C’s to creating transformation that sticks…. we’ve made it through 5 so far: Connection, Consciousness, Choice, Courage and Commitment….which brings us to our final C:
Making real, lasting change in your life is hard.
Choosing to change habits, our BELIEFS, the things that have kept us comfortable (and small) for all these years is a tall order.
I don’t know about you, but I fare much better when I’m on a journey with others and have people to talk to, lean on & share experiences with.
I thrive when I know there is someone who will notice when I fall, and who will help pick me up.
If you’re struggling, feeling alone, isolated (how could we NOT feel isolated right now?) it’s up to you to reach out and find a community that can be a sounding board, a crash pad and a safe space.
COMMUNITY creates the following:
- ACCOUNTABILITY. Saying you want to make changes is one thing. Community...
Over the last 2 weeks, I've shared with you parts of my 6 step process to creating transformation in your life.
I've loved receiving feedback about where you are in your process - the journey of living authentically and creating a future we love is a journey best walked together - thank you for sharing!
So far we've talked about connection, consciousness, choice and courage - and while all of those things are necessary, without COMMITMENT, nothing sticks.
Commitment isn’t just about deciding to do something and doing it no matter what - though that’s certainly part of it.
Commitment is deeper than that.
It asks you to dig into your heart and really ask what’s important to you.
It asks you to connect to your WHY - to your vision.
To remember why you are making the choice to change.
It asks you to believe that YOU ARE WORTHY of creating a life of significance, and to continue believing, especially when things get rough.
The first step is asking yourself: "Right now,...
Once you’ve decided to make a choice - to walk in the direction of your growth and your freedom, it comes down to our 4th step: COURAGE.
It’s one thing to make a declaration for your life, to see how you get in your own way and to WANT to create a new future of FREEDOM and PURPOSE.
But actually making changes requires a bucket of courage!
Adopting any new way of being is going to be scary. Change is scary - it takes us out of our comfort zone and makes us feel like strangers in our own lives. It’s much easier to run back to our old ways of being and doing because they’re familiar and comfortable.
But comfort has gotten you to where you are today; to a place where you’ve done some good work on yourself but you still feel a bit like a square peg in a round hole.
A bit like you’re still looking for where your puzzle piece fits into the grand scheme of life.
To figure this out, you get to step out of the comfort zone and create a new reality.
Last week we talked about the first 2 steps in creating transformation that sticks:
1) CONNECTION to your mind, body & spirit and to the VISION you have for your life.
2) CONSCIOUSNESS that your thoughts shape your reality, and your past shapes how you view the world. You have the power and the ability to shift both your thoughts and what you believe to be true about the possibilities for your life!
Once you declare a bold vision for yourself and you’re aware of the thought patterns that are likely to stand in your way on your journey, you get to make a choice; to allow your limiting beliefs, OR, to recognize the things you tell yourself that aren’t true, and choose to create new possibilities!
Step number 3 is: CHOICE
Have you ever heard yourself say the words “I don’t have a choice?”
That statement used to come out of my mouth pretty often. It was either that I had to do something my boss aid, or I had to have this job and do this work or I had to...
“Stand guard at the door of your mind.” -Tony Robbins
That quote says so much.
Since you’re human, I don’t have to tell you this (but I will just in case): your thoughts create your reality.
Whatever you focus on multiplies. What you focus on is what you attract into your sphere.
Your mind is therefore both your greatest enemy and your biggest asset.
Among the many things that make us walking miracles, us humans are the only beings capable of the level of consciousness required to actually change what we focus on.
In my journey of processing grief and creating a new life of meaning and significance, the biggest thing I had to overcome was my mind (and I still work on it every day!)
It’s the biggest thing any of us will ever have to overcome.
STEP 2 in creating transformation that sticks is CONSCIOUSNESS:
You are not your mind. You are not your thoughts.
You have thoughts, and they’re part of your mind — but they’re not...
Yesterday, we talked about Step 1 in the process of creating transformation that sticks: CONNECTION to your whole self - mind body and spirit.
Step 1 has a "part b" which we're getting into today:
b) Connection to your VISION.
It’s easy to lose sight of YOU, what you want, why you’re here, what is really important to you.
Especially if you spent any amount of time care-giving for a loved on or even if you’ve spent the last couple of years deep in and out of grief — YOU may have been lost in the shuffle.
Sometimes it feels like you don’t even know who you are any more.
Take the time to ask yourself:
You get to connect to your vision. Your...
Making the choice to change something about your life is the biggest step....but it's not always that easy.
Having some kind of framework to follow helped me greatly, so I created these 6 steps out of my own experience:
CONNECTION | CONSCIOUSNESS | CHOICE | COURAGE | COMMITMENT | COMMUNITY
Over the next 2 weeks, I'll break down my take on all 6.
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts - if you have an "aha" moments, anything that resonates or even anything you disagree with! We're all on this journey together.
STEP 1: CONNECTION
a) Connection to your whole self:
Transforming your life in any meaningful way cannot begin until you recognize that you are three parts of a whole: mind, body and spirit.
Most of us spend our whole lives disconnected from our spirit — what is it even!? The mind and body are obvious: we think our thoughts and feel our skin.
But the spirit piece is where we tend to get lost.
When we are disconnected from the part of us that is greater...
Do you have any "weird" traditions in your family, or things you like to do to remind yourself of who you are or where you're headed?
For me it's lighting candles.
As a kid when we'd travel as a family, my mom would walk into every church or cathedral to light a candle for the people in her family who had passed, and for the generations before them that she never even knew. There are A LOT of churches in Europe (where I grew up), so this became an inside joke in our family. Another church, another candle
My brother and I held the important responsibility of holding the lit candles and placing them next to another, half-melted stick honoring another soul.
It was always a sacred moment.
One day she explained that the flame didn't just honor the loss; it honored the life and the POSSIBILITIES for the ones left behind.
That was key for me, and the reason I've continued the tradition.
I light candles and let those flames burn for what is still alive. For the spark that still exists no...
Do you remember when I shared my story on the last interview of the Leadership After Loss series? (If you missed it, click here)
I expressed that after my mom died suddenly, it’s like I inhaled sharply, and then never exhaled for years.
Can you relate to that?
The kind of tension that grief creates doesn’t just disappear on its own. It gets stored in your body, in your tissues, in your cells, in your organs.
If we don't release the tension, it turns into anger, rage, shame and guilt. Guilt at thinking about moving forward when someone we love is DEAD. Rage at the world taking this away from us. SHAME at grieving and not being “okay” and feeling like somehow we should be over it by now.
Over time, that tension starts to wreak havoc on our physical and mental health.
Here's my personal story with this....
In 2010, I found myself struggling with horrible adult cystic acne. I had somehow made it though my entire teenage years without any zits, and in my mid-20s, I...
I want to share something with you that made a HUGE difference in managing my thoughts and moving towards healing.
But first I'd like to ask - have you ever noticed how you feel worse after scrolling social media for 10 minutes or reading the news?
I don't think it's just me....
That's because what you consume, watch, read, listen to and say has a HUGE impact on how you feel about the world, about your circumstances and about the possibilities you see for your life.
If you are immersed in thoughts or content that holds you down, how can you expect to feel light?
Six years ago in my darkest days, I made the decision to look at or read something that inspired my soul every day, and hanging a simple poster in my bathroom ended up changing everything.
Hear the story in this 5 minute video ---> watch here.
If you get nothing else out of it, you'll get to see my "weekend hair," which is really something special!